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Oct 2017
I want to shred my skin to slivers
Then stick it all back onto these hollow bones
With cheap glue and melted-down insides
A beautifully macabre papered design
To set into motion that deep, dull ache
That goes beyond skin and blood and flesh
That settles into the very marrow of my bones
Like a dreary numbing blow
I'll recreate it all, my own Picasso
Lips stuck inside out, limbs all a-bundled
Maybe I can stop myself
From being able to turn others inside-out
Hang myself in pieces from the bedroom curtains
The white stained with red paint and sweat
I can create to decreate, build to destroy
Pile up all these hollow bricks to build
A house I'll flick over with a single scream

I'm a ******* supernova of stars
Exploding and hurtling in bright expanses
Of sparks and stars and spiralling suffering
Throwing myself into space like a stray flame flicker
To destroy the empty space
Where everybody is safe from me, where they cannot see
What I have become
Planets are simply specks of glitter on my peripheral vision
And I engulf them in the inferno
Cities burn, castles crumble, while the councils cry out
But still I burnt through, still I burn
Until they're returned to the ground they came from
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Man born of earth must one day return
To their graves of lies and spite
With headstones to lock them in at night

I'm a fish out of air
Gasping for the poison I've become
Limbs flailing as chest heaves upwards
Begging for merciful surrender
I can feel each crack making its way up my skin
Brittle arms shaking under the weight of my tries
Purple mist seeps into my eyes
Pushing back the droplets of humanity
And pulling out the method of insanity
Flailing underneath these invisible hands
While bedsheets trap me six feet under
How boring it was, that yearning strike
How typical, that childish wonder
As to whether the stars were the eyes of gods
And pondering as to how our world would die
I never used to want to know
How it felt to fall

I'm dying to live like a falling star
Sliding behind the wavering horizon
To find a land where mornings are guided by sparks
Falling endlessly in irresistible lurch
Without scrambling for purchase on the splintering ledge
I'm going to spin and scream and sprain
Every arm and palm and heart
That falls into my path
A destructive lullaby of lilies
Arranged around a tombstone
In the shape of a perfectly pretty pillar
That holds up the weight of heaven
I'll catch every whisper and whimper and wish
And tear it to pieces like a paper moon
Set the pieces back to the wind
To find their ruined authors
And taunt them yet again
lena
Written by
lena  15/F/uck dullness
(15/F/uck dullness)   
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