The Human Being never existed.
The Human Being is a complex computer program.
The Human Being is actually a Martian in disguise.
The Human Being is a lie, a hoax.

The government is covering it up,
Lying to us,
Protecting us.
Regardless, the Human Being never existed.

It crash landed on Tri-Alpha 1,
One of three nearby planetoids,
And stumbled out of its metal box,
All pink and yellow and brown,
Just like the cartoons said.

When asked for comment it claimed Tri-Alpha 1 for Earth
And for the Human Beings
And said it would nuke any who got in its way.

This could have been quite strange and scary,
Except that the Trians had never heard of Earth
Or nukes, which on Tri-Alpha is a type of sugary breakfast oatmeal,
But they had heard of the Human Being,
And everyone knows the Human Being never existed.

The Republican-Whig-Beebop-Triphop Conglomerate that is the Trian Government,
Quickly put it down to a drama student who’d had too much Sensurian ale.
The Human Being never existed.

Except, of course, it had.
Far within the confines of the Beebop Science Department,
The hairy creature was poked and prodded and pickled and preserved.

The Human Being never existed on Tri-Alpha 1,
But Jarred Hyuemahn is coming soon to an express shopway near you.