...the scholar in this poem's companion painting has such an unhappy expression that this poem turns out humorous almost of its own accord...


****! - there are, I know, intellectuals
there back in the distant court
who want to be exiled here to the mountains
And they’d like to lie down like this
like I’m doing now
amidst the trees, on a rock, watching the river flow
and they’d sure like this solitude and quiet
But ****! Not me! I didn’t choose this!
I was just minding my own business -
what was it - 10 years ago? and we learned men
and we were all walking in the Royal Garden with the King
and we were discussing most cleverly about such lofty matters
and I was just behind the King
when he farted
and I waved off the smell with my right hand before my face
and he turns round just at that moment, and he says:
“What is the matter with you?
Here we are the Esteemed Intellectuals of the Court
in the Royal Garden discoursing of Such Lofty Matters
and you stand behind me with a monkey face and gestures?
Out with you! Here is your choice – you gesturing monkey!
The Butcher will cut off that gesturing hand of yours
or would you rather retire now into the woods like a monkey?”
And so it was, that’s how I was sent here
about a decade ago
now in the secluded woods, far from the city
in these quiet and still mountains
and now I sing in misery to myself:
“O all things are quiet
and at peace here
in the country
There are the trees and the vines
and the birds
and the rocks, and so much time –
O but my life is misery
all undone by a Royal ****!
O ****! O ****! Why me! Why me!”