She's like your first girlfriend and even though she's a little older you'll always love her.

Something bigger than your heart throbs when you see her velveteen face in films.

Even though she has been with three hundred different guys that doesn't matter at all.



When she retires a part of you feels sorrow as you remember her prime exploits fondly.

Just to see her you had to steal your dad's magazines or delete all of your web history.

She is the only woman you know that's never hurt you or broke you down into tears.


No matter what your fetish was the odds are that she has done it before just for your enjoyment and now she's just gone from that forever.



You'll never forget her name and you'll think about her fondly in your happiest dreams.



However in a way she's unable to die as she's immortalized in videos, pictures, and in all of that ***** on tissue papers you long since thrown away.