when introspection goes wrong:
i thought too much and now i'm sad
should be the name of my autobiography
though there will be nothing but your name in the bibliography
as i tell my life's story interspersed with your wisdom
and hope that sharing your thoughts might help others as a mechanism
to living their best life and knowing
the difference between someone holding them back and someone promoting
them reevaluating the weight they give society's expectations
and instead taking that energy and devoting
it to self improvement and things that matter connoting
that they should be their own priority
something i could stand to learn from you
or at least take to heart when you tell me yet again

i guess
if i'm being honest
my "tired" looks an awful lot like
depression
if you hold it up to the light

and i suppose if truth be told
my "insomnia" looks more like
introspection turned anxiety
from late night over-thinking

and honestly, it's not that i'm "not feeling well"
it's that my executive dysfunction is getting bad
and that means it's hard for me to even function
on the most basic level that there is
and as much as it scares me to tell you all this
i promised i would always be honest
so here's the truth

i am just a ****** up girl
standing in front of a ****** up guy
asking him to hold her hand and tell her it will be okay
because
for some reason
i believe you when you say it