To be surrounded
yet still alone.
To have it all
Yet still lacking some

To be loved
But not feel loved
To be found
But still feel lost
To be physically at home
But mentally still out on the open road.

Wandering without meaning
Roaming without a purpose.

Yes, dear reader
These are my greatest fears.

I want to be surrounded by love
And know that I am loved
Know that I am fully and securely loved
Whole, accepted, valued, significant.
And I want to share that love and that acceptance
With everyone else that I meet.

But I want it to start with me.
Inside my heart and deep within my bones.
So deep and so raw that it becomes apart of me
Apart of my dna
Apart of my chemical and biological makeup.
That people can't see me, think of me, or talk about me
Without bringing up "love" and "generosity"
Without bringing up the beautiful and wonderful name of
Jesus.

Let this be the goal of my life:
To love and be loved and feel loved and to know that I am loved and that I can be love for those who have no love, for those who have never known love. That I can be the hands and feet of love itself, a son of love, marked by it, molded by it, baptized in it.
Till all I am is love, till I am refined and cut, and sliced, and molded, and shaped, and scorched, and disciplined. Till I become love.Till I can love as I have been loved. To feel the extent of the love that is extended to me. This my dear reader, is my aim.