It is really my fault.
I let my emotions swim through all this.
I should have kept quiet.
I shouldn't have thought about it.
I tried convincing my heart that there's nothing more to this relation, but no my heart coincided with my mind and breathed out hope, hope that maybe just one day things will change we would be comfortable with being each others.
Seeing that we both know how the other is.
And everything will fall into place.
I always knew that it would not work, but my heart.
It saddens me that I'm divided into three and two, two overpower me they cloud my reasoning and judgement.
I really hope that things go back to normal.
That the balance remains.
Being emotional really *****.
There's no shallowness at least if it were present I would be laughing my *** out about this now, but no.
I won't lie.
I am actually hurt.
It is slowing sinking in that we want different things.
We view this differently.
Maybe if I was still younger I would consider this whole friends with benefts thing.
I am older now.
I can't settle for such an arrangement. I get attached easily.
I won't manage.