Gently,
like a man
afraid of everything,
you hide
and I don't see you for years
then you appear in the next
subway car
face like a convicted criminal
you're shrunken down
and hunched over
and bald

and for the first time
I feel pity for you
mixed with my anger and disgust

I am burdened with the unanswered!
Does you past make you shiver
now that the wind of chance
has brought us together
and blown away the cobwebs of lies
that you use like a Tensor
to keep your guilt from swelling?

Do you cough up the bile
(that is so hard to swallow)
of that time of pain
that is now so old and neglected
it barely has memories
to cling to?

You see I know she left you too

I watch you across
the multitude of strangers
each of us
safe
from our regrets
and remorse
living like cowards
in the shackles
of our fear

I endure the pain of looking at you
I withstand the enslaught of memories
the bitterness of loss
I feel the pain
and I swallow
and for the first time
in a long time
I let it soak in
and when I re-focus my eyes
you are gone.