I dress in white after Labor Day
I question everything they say
I jump and skip in my work hallway
Everybody says “no” while I say “Nay”

I crunch numbers just for fun
I raise my hands toward the sun
I run around with my water gun
I carry on although it’s done

I smear my face with lines of dirt
On Casual Day I wear a shirt
I don’t know what it is to flirt
I have a blow-up doll called Bert

When I laugh alone I point to my feet
At times I stand up on my seat
I use a British accent when I greet
Disorganized, but awfully neat

I race with my trolley in the shopping mall
I point and laugh when somebody falls
When asked an urgent question I deliberately stall
Because no one will talk to me, I talk to the wall

I correct people just because I can
In summer I steal all my colleagues’ fans
When they lie on towels I play in the sand
I jump on stage and feign being in the band

I sit and eat my lunch alone
I pretend to talk on my cell phone
I hum and sing till I hear them groan
Then I jump and I skip all the merry way home