I've taken everything off, undressed completely,
So why don't I feel naked?
Why does it still feel like I'm carrying ten layers of clothing -
Why is it still heavy?
I'm only chasing clarity- what else can I give?
My head is still muddled like a vision behind blurry eyes
I still cannot see
And before I can see anything - I cannot see you.
I need to jump into the water,
the terrifying, freezing water,
the stormy, dark water,
and be ok with that -
Only then can I feel you if you're still there,
Only then can I see anything other than a silhouette,
Only then can I hear you speak and finally understand something other than a mumble.
I need to be naked, before I can strip in front of you.
The thought of being naked alone,
naked and alone,
terrifies me to the core;
but I need to shed off my skin, I need to break my chains, I need to leave this prison, this twenty pound anchor dragging me down,
and I need to jump.
And if I fly, I promise darling, I will fly back to you.