I look like I'm sixteen but I am twenty
I'm really lustful, now that is funny.
Lonely loser with an appetite,
Doesn't matter, can't get it right

No social groups to fit in
No little angels here to console
I feel emptiness from within
All I feel I have is control

Control over nothing that matters
I can't control my love for other people
I can't control who loves me
I can't control my thoughts, they're evil

I think I have it so ******* bad
My life so far's been a piece of cake
I've got a loving Mom and Dad
I feel like I am barely awake

I wish I could see my blessings,
But I'm blind to them deep inside
All I want is love where it's not
And a dark quiet place to hide

Loneliness needs a brand new name
There's a ton of people around
But people who make me feel like I'm seen
Are still rare and here, yet to be found

I take steps towards a great life
Where I'd have a career and goals
Where do I step to make my heart right?
What can I do to console?

How can I make myself feel loved?
Can I love myself any more?
Don't I love myself way too much?
Does that not even affect the score?

Do I need to put on this mask,
And bend over every single day
Open my heart, look into their eyes
And cry every time they look away?

Is my empty heart repulsive?
Is that what all these people see?
I wish I knew what drove them away
Because it ***** and it's beyond me.

I've been talking, looking for answers
Writing poems and going to counseling.
I think about this every day
And I haven't found a single thing.

Isn't it insane to keep trying?
Do the same and want different results?
Do I have to change who I am?
Wouldn't that just be really false?

Can I be true and also be happy?
Is that the cake and eating it too?
Do I have to say goodbye
To myself just to get closer to you?

Will that look in your eyes ever change?
Can someone see me and not feel bad?
Is there any hope for a change
Or am I really deep down that sad?

Am I a pity case in a box
Full of love and amazement for
People, life, music, and what's good?
Do I seem like a worthless chore?

Is that why people seem so dismayed?
Should I just not talk and not try?
"Keep trying to talk to people, Nick."
I can't look in their eyes and lie.

I can't sell a busted up product
Talk about being high maintenance
I am alone and you'd be one
You'd be my savior from isolation

I can't put that burden on someone
and I don't belong to any groups.
Will I find love in this lonely life?
I keep craving nothing but the truth