(for Paul) July 21, 1988*

You’re a ghost and a specter and a madcap that laughs
A pawn and a broker who gives only half
A slayer of virtue and a killer of craft
A sinister victim of the cold and the draft
A child who is blind to the calling inside
That speaks of conviction and the courage that died
A soul set adrift on a gut wrenching ride
And I can’t help but wonder how you sleep at night

You’re a cutthroat in hiding and a stabber in the dark
At the virtue and the kindness of someone else’s heart
You’re a history and a nightmare that doesn’t fade away
Though I cut the bonds that bind us that ghostly feeling stays
You haunt me in my sorrow and defy the mental blocks
Set up to free my world from the loneliness that stalks
Your memories and manners are a bloodbath to my ears
And I can’t help but wonder how you managed through the years

You see me bleed profusely but you won’t turn on the light
You leave me in the darkness; out of mind is out of sight
The guilt that is your trademark never kept you from the lies
You scattered at my doorstep no made you realize
That rules that are unspoken doesn’t mean they don’t exist
And when temptation strikes them well a real man would resist
You hem and haw and mince about; never look me in the eye
And I can’t help but wonder how you’ll manage to survive

James H. Webb