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if i truly believed

i walk a line

some where between listening to myself

and listening to God...

if i truly believed i'd burn in hell

i suppose i wouldn't smoke that chronic i bought

and if i truly believed i'd burn in hell

i'd probably do my homework,

stop saying "fuck"and make sure to not flirt with men that weren't mine

picture this weekend scene;

saturday night, basement

drink in hand

smoke inhaled as clean and clear as everyday air

i would tell that nice boy

with the lip ring and name that starts with a "b"that i was taken by a special man

and ... and..excuses....

let them go let them roll as smooth as bacardi straight from the handle

bought at the local CVS by a bought-off ***

i guess i'm a girl that believes in hell on a bad day

when all bad things

poverty, homelessness, grandma's cancer and stubbing your toe

comes in the form of your dorm roommate

drunk at two am hollering and arranging the mini fridge,

when all the bad things feel as though they affect you directly

and if i truly believed i'd burn in hell

i'd be the girl that appreciated that remembers there's a merciful God

twenty-four seven always

but realitywho forgets

that life is a mystery

i write and it flows

and i know that these words are exaggerated because my conscious knows

i never miss a lecture, and is faithful to the one beautiful boythat actually gives a **** the day after

i'm the girlthat smokes a bowl

and worries about her soul

picture this weekend scene:

alone with a man

gorgeous and caring as could ever be

frozen lake front

wrapped in his arms,

perfect any teen girl couldn't want anything more

but unhappiness rests in me

it rests in his arms, sure neglected for a day or two

but this girls knows

clearity in mind strength through living empirically

and if i truly believe'd i'd go to heaven

i'd stop letting my worries write these ****** *** poems

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a
Written by
anne
American
Published
Feb 25, 2010
Lines·Words
45·339
Notes

2/25/10

Permission

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