I am a writer.
I do not write just to have words on paper;
I write to have these words spoken aloud, with passion, with power to move people to tears and conviction in a single sentence fashion,
Both in the same breath.
Laugh laugh haha see a face? That one face, once full of comfort and love.
Turn it over, see it now full of maggots and dripping its rotting flesh upon rotting life.
A flower- Nightshade, beautiful and deadly.
Deadly fun weaving crowns of poison, wearing thorns and courting danger;
Flirting with disaster, a bride-to-be of pain.
Suffering; screams rip out of raw throats, animalistic and guttural.
Splattering, cracking as bodies hit the floor,
Smeared on the earth is blood and gore.
Why? I can't take much more - but there is nothing wrong with me-
Something's wrong with me.
These are your nightmares, my daydreams, fantasies you hope never visit reality.
Fantasies I may bring to life.
Hellish song arises from darkness, deep and haunting...
Alone in the darkness insomnia takes over;
And over and over.
Fear closes in chokingly close,
Surrounds-
Then it drowns.
Scarring images, scarred for life, broken upon the stones of my words-
Impaled upon the sticks of my anger.
A name, one name called to your mind, whispering from the deep.
"Names will never hurt me," -ha, lies.
This name hurts.
It burns into your being, a red hot brand on the soul.
It's my name, harming my soul with the memory of you.
I'm pretending not to feel it, I'm pretending not to care,
I'm trying not to live my life pretending you are there.
I know there is no going back but I dream of it,
You're gone now and I hate you for it.
I want to fall and with pain sate my thirst for it.
Tell me you love me, break it all down;
Tear up my heart with your uncaring sound.
I'm hurting- in pain -and you won't set me free;
Lie so sweetly and then smile at me.
Your hellish song arises now from the dawn, light and piercing,
Staking me upon your sticks and breaking me on your stones.
A beautiful flower- nightshade, rests beside my hand;
I the thorn-crowned, screaming for you, calling in tears for you, forgotten.
So in this hell I await your return, swamped in anger;
I can’t wait to get you back,
I’m going to get you back.
Just remember, I love you.
I hate you.