a vow
I made a vow
to myself

that I
would
take
my
mind
back

that I
once again
would try to make
music on the
wrong kind of keys

that I
once again
would desperately
with clumsy ignorance
capture in vain
small pieces of
ephemeral beauty
in my trembling hands

that I
once again
would fail to
find words
to carry a thought
to definition
a foggy memory
into focus

that I
once again
would find
that I can hide
comfortably
in phrases

that beauty
is audible
in silence