But did i?
I'm not so sure,
Though I cannot tell whether I did this to myself or
if I was placed here by genetics or
if it was outside influences or
a little of each.
All I know
is this is where
I am and I
Want to
need to
have to
must leave.
What will I do if
I can't?
How can I stay in this dark place
where I have been stuck,
forced to live in silence
and pain
and struggle
each day?
Every.
Day.
I do not know
How I became this way,
So severely fucked up.
I am cold,
because of my problems.
I am gray,
because of my problems.
I do not glow.
I am yellow.
I am red.
I am striped
like a brown zebra.
That is my fault.
It is all
my fault.
I let myself become this monster and now
I am under the bed, socializing with
the other monsters and
I cannot leave, they won't
let me leave.
I am stuck.
Stuck in the dark
under the bed
with the other monsters.
They tear me apart and
I help them.
Slowly, slowly, ever so slowly,
I kill myself.
Which is worse?
killing yourself in one swift move,
or doing it ever so slowly
over a lifetime?