I really don't know who to talk to.
Really, I don't.
I've found such happiness,
Whilst remaining humble
And haven't stressed like I used to,
Or taken things to heart as much...
Yet as I stare into the mirror,
I don't like what I see.
I don't care about
How pretty my features are
I don't care about
My modeleque height
Or my warm smile
Those things, I was born with.
Thank God I'm happy with them,
It's not like I could change them
But I do care about
What I've done to myself.
Those things I did have control over,
and lost control.
I'm too soft, everywhere.
My sides are too fat
My stomach isn't as flat
I'm unhappy with my body.
And sure, I'm not huge.
But I didn't gain weight in the right places.
To look over old photos
Or know the preferences of those closest to me,
Begs tears,
and utter disappointment.
And I don't want to sound like any other girl
All the blah blah blahs
But I'm unhappy with my body.
I work hard,
I pay my bills.
I help people,
I'm doing well in school.
And I've added this gym routine on top of it.
And while I've created my own schedule, therefore I'm not complaining,
Its hurtful
That I have no one to talk to.
My family and friends will simply wave this away, as I'm not huge.
Those other parties closest to me won't say much at all.
I guess,
I just wish someone would wholly and truly tell me I'm beautiful.
That someone would want me not just for what part in *** I play
But FOR those things I dislike about myself.
And voice that.
I'm not looking for someone to cure me
And I realize what I must do to change,
but ****
I don't think I'm supposed to feel like this.
I think someone is supposed to validate me to an extent
Atleast that's what I do with those I care about, when I see they're in a low spot for a moment.
Don't we all need to hear that from time to time?
Well, I don't ever hear it. Unless I begin the conversation there in.

I gained weight, I'm not happy about it, I'm making a change, and no one has said, "you're beautiful." Without me **** near fishing.
It hurts.

And I don't know who to talk to.
Or what to do, but to continue dealing alone. As I have been.

I just want to love myself as much as I love my life
I just want to keep being happy
I just want to love myself.
And not be surrounded by so many people
Yet feel so alone.

I don't know who to talk to.