Looking for an exit in life, perhaps other option that is rarely available. Time travel, utilitarian way to modify the past and the future.

Trapped in a matrix of flesh and bones controlled by my encephalon, it controls  every part of my daily life, from breathing and blinking to helping myself memorize.

A feeling of antipathy in life that could never bring me happiness.  

The inculpation for the misapprehension in my past relationship and future.

What does a man like me to do? How can one display their philia when they're not certain of that emotion?

My endurance in this life is on a perpetual edge. I perceive with attention toward happiness.

A deprivation I share with others. An absent of happiness.

A happiness of dominance; a switch that is only controlled.

Today he can be happy; switch ON.  Next week he can be unhappy; switch OFF.  

I walk on egg shells in this relationship and have to be careful that it won't break. I'm sad and lonely, this is what I get and deserve.

God nor I could change this, but I don't see it happening during my remaining life.

Stifles with silence deploying infantile  plots. A day at a time I enunciate as my composer easily is un-maintain.

Hidden arcanum among a number of these unidentified entities lashes out at me discreetly.

Posing no threat I conceal the pass deep in the abyss in an unmarked grave sealing off the hippocampus that only the Creator can breach.

Unannounced the gravestone is turned my past is breached which I assumed that only the Beneficent can release.

Once an inhabitation, but no longer my domicile. Set aside and noted as a lost monument.

Ascendency barbarous with words of articulation fatal to ones self esteem, grossly spoken enslaved. An inclination to the predisposition of my life.