Driving home tonight I found myself ailed
With a classic case of the "you have failed
To foster another relationship in a successful way"
And the symptoms are found in this life of dismay

My treatment, I've determined, should be solitude
And perhaps mixing that with some "I'll desert you"
But really, I came home tonight with a great deal of braces
'Round my legs and my arms from these "Classic cases"

Like, for example, I'm certain I've contracted a classic case of the "*******"s
It's a deadly disease, detrimentally acknowledging my refuse was full of abuse
And, I think I feel it now, yes, it's another classic case:
Of the variety of "can't you feel your heart race?"

Like you know the words that come out of her mouth
Yes, you have to feed them to her
And you know that when they come, things'll go south
Yes, this one will be a bruiser

But nothing like you haven't felt before, I'm sure
You're a hardened stone of a heart, boiled apart
And no one is going to put you back together
Except for yourself.

Yes; I've contracted the "**** this ****"s
But I think I've brought it on myself
I've contracted these classic cases because
I am a classic case of the "I can't be alone"s