I am trying to move on,
trying to peel away the strings
that stick to my skin, linking me
to you.
My heart crumbles inside me,
rewriting it's programming to
accommodate the ache you make me feel,
as I make furtive glances at your
silhouette, imagining how your body
would look next to mine on hotel
room beds on hurried mornings.
And now I'm going places,
living a life that
I didn't see coming and
everything tastes sweeter here but
some nights all I can think of is how,
you don't call me anymore and I lie
awake all alone sometimes, allowing
my heartache to course through my
skin and if you knew how much you
meant to me, you'd perhaps smirk and
tell me that it's flattering and maybe
it's your arrogance that I like best but
some days my hands still reach
across screens for yours
and I am trying to stop but some
part of me
is still human and wishes you'd
tell me the things that,
I'm too afraid to
ask even though I
know that I perhaps don't want to
hear it at all.
Some nights, I'm certain that
I'm losing my mind but I'd trade my
sanity
to have you tell me that you feel this too.