Hey!  Open these pearly gates wide.
There's someone waiting outside.
Don't just stand there, I want to come in.
Don't keep me out, I committed no sin.

****** I've not done, nor cheat, nor rob,
Maybe just a little pilfering on the job.
Once in a while I did a good deed,
A little insurance in case of need!

I never beat my children or my wife.
Of course, I didn't spend that much of my life
Being a father or a husband because
I was much too busy, but I broke no laws.

I think that I can safely say
That I did little for which I must pay.
I've lived my life as I saw fit,
Getting by on my charm and wit.

On occasion, I took the Lord's name in vain,
But only when I was really in pain.
Littering was something I did not do,
Nor spit on the sidewalk, nor tobacco did I chew.

I can't understand why you're keeping me out.  
Down on earth I had a lot of clout.
To the person in charge, I want to say,
You'll be sorry if you don't let me in today.

I am sure that behind these portals I belong
Because, as you can see, I did no real wrong.
So lift the latch and open these gates,
Let this soul enter and see what awaits.