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Aug 2017
The day we started talking was the day you flipped the hourglass.
Our time was slowly slipping away the closer we became.
And deep down I knew that we would never last,
that our time together would just stay in the past.
We would never have a future and you taught me that.
So misplaced trust and misplaced feelings turned into me having to do a lot of healing.
My trust is shattered and my heart is broken while my love is sitting here, unopened.
I believed every lie you ever told and somehow I choose to think I'm not naive but you've reminded me that even friendly people can deceive.
I'm writing a story no one will read; the story of you and me.
The tale of a sad girl who gets her hopes up
and the guy who uses her until she breaks.
I was clumsy and I fell for you,
I tripped over every emotion you put on display, and yet I knew you would never stay.
So why am I here, why am I writing this
while you're running around with loose lips.
I thought you wouldΒ stay true to your promise, thought you would at least try to be modest.
But you've been running your mouth and telling half-truths and I've learned that I'm just not in the mood.
I'm tired of the empty threats, tired of playing this game when there's nothing left.
Tired of being told it's all in my head when I'm just full of dread. This isn't the end nor the beginning somehow the whole time I had the story twisted.
My head became flooded with memories of those who've hurt me and listening to what I thought were lies just gave me more misery.
I'm sorry for losing my temper I'm sorry for pushing you away and now I understand if you don't want to stay.
I overreacted and you couldn't get a word in and maybe I shouldn't have been such a burden.
You won't admit it but I know that you were tired of my ****.
Because my feelings shine through and they always get the best of me, like the time we chilled at the movies.
Even though the film was rolling, we missed every scene getting distracted by each other's lips and other obscenities.
Maybe we moved too quick or maybe we just weren't a hit but either way I don't want to quit.
This feeling I have when I'm with you is a high like no other, a burning flame that can't be smothered.
I've returned to my bipolar ways and I'm sorry if we won't be okay.
I wanted to be with you and I still do the only problem is I don't know what you want to do.
Say we'll be together or tell me to leave us behind, if not I'll just stumble around blind.
Forgetting all the good times and the smiles you've put on my face, and even the times we've shared the same space.
All the sleepless nights and waking up late, the good, the bad, and our unfortunate fate.
Anya
Written by
Anya  21/F/Anywhere but here
(21/F/Anywhere but here)   
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