once you said "don't worry."
but i did. and i do, and i probably always will.

all taller than me, but not in spirit.
they taught me that not all beasts have long, sharp teeth.
the long night is not to be feared, but instead the reach
of their arms, holding me, smothering me.

i have been many women. all for them.
red hair and purple lips.
black hair and hip bones.
yellow dresses and curls.
each one removing a piece of my spine
chipping away at my bones
til i am nothing.

the world grew up around me
and suddenly i realized i had not grown with it.
still as a dead bird, i watched the seasons pass.
my veins filled with salt,
my mind burns now like an open wound--
i can never forget the sound of their voices
telling me who to be, how to hold my body.
always ringing in my ears.

let me be free. will i ever be free?