This time it was more than pillow talk
It was more like word vomit
By the time 5am rolled around we had already discussed so many things
We wondered what our lives would be like if we hadn’t gotten on that bus
We pondered life without each other
We were together able to think impulsively
About us down the road
About a beautiful family waiting for us far away
We remained in the fantasy world of “what ifs” and “maybes” all night long
I liked it there
I liked imagining my world with him
Without him
Married to him
Never meeting him
We talked about past relations
I kept asking him questions
I could feel myself acting like one of those annoying girls in the movies
But I couldn’t help it
I just kept asking
And he kept answering
He was honest
He was always honest with me
But then I was hearing answers I didn’t like
And microscopic streams of tears ran down my cheeks
I was realizing how in love I was
And how his love might not amount to mine
I knew he loved me but I couldn’t stop thinking about it
Sometimes it scares me how much I love him
So I whispered to him that I never wanted us to end
And he said all we can do is try