it’s something you learn to love
the blinding lights and the migraines and the burn in your stomach
maybe it’s hunger, maybe it’s alcohol, who knows
they both work the same
your hands can’t find a place to stay they’re just shaking and your breath is shaking and you sway from side to side because all of the balance is gone now, i don’t know where it went, i tried looking for it and then i got bored so i gave up and here we are
you haven’t eaten in 20 hours
i haven’t eaten in 20 hours
i thought i was better but i never get better
there’s no getting better
i thought my first love was the boy with dark hair and long fingers, but it looks like i was wrong again
it was “how did you lose so much weight” and hipbones sticking so far out that there was a two inch gap between my stomach and the band of my pants and not knowing what anyone around me was saying
i don’t care about what anyone is ******* saying
i don’t know what to say to anyone i don’t know how to act
i don’t think anymore, i don’t need to think anymore
i’ve developed a habit of only drinking when i’ve eaten 800 calories or less
the alcohol works quicker that way and you don’t have to take in too many calories by the end of the day
it’s the smartest thing i’ve ever done
it’s my two favorite feelings at once