"get in the car," my father says


passing the richest of green trees,soft wind peaking through my slightly cracked window attempting to break the deadly silence.

The longest minutes of my adolescent life.

a callous beginning to form through the intensity of my fathers hand and the leather steering wheel, somehow cradling his heart in between




"You have arrived at your destination"




to the house of a man who filtered his unfaithful dynamite into a marriage, and set it on fire.

my fathers best friend.

I can see a sliver of water poking at his eyes, but he will never let me see him cry.

he'd let heart break ****** him before showing me weakness.

the car door slams and all I have is the low fan of air keeping me from sweating.

sitting on the leather seat, passenger side. the side she once blessed her presence with.




Now this car holds two.

but the drivers seat is full, spilling over actually, with anger.




"If I could get away with it, I'd **** him."




I then realized my father is too broken, and ill to think he takes up needed space in the world.

His heart is too crowded to entertain my feelings.

and with that, for the first time,




I am truly alone.