Yet , in the light of love and confusion to live a life I've never experienced, I conformed. What's wrong with conforming? Well, for my soul, it equals DEATH of a soul, lack of 'sense of humor' and autopilot galore. I will still strive for my goals for my family, husband and myself. I may have to do it the backassward way to do it , but with faith and love , I may make it. Only if I have the family I made beside me, to encourage with words and kisses when in time of need. Which will be a lot of touch. My body and mind have already suffered much. It only knows to run away, ..... To protect itself from the pain I must face to be what I need to be for my wonderful pretty family. These years will be rough, but not as rough as a military wife and husband that never gets the peace until they are home for good, and live. no family is perfect, yet, in my masquerade to try; I conformed and strip myself of who I am. But because of this amazing good natured man, I am here to prevail for us and come out of the fire a new vessel. I pray we are not like the rest, yet, it's so safe to try to be like the rest . ... in the end, none of this will matter. Photos are distant, I no longer have the energy I once had to keep up.