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May 2012
Standing over this coffin
Staring into my eyes
Watching my own corpse

Sit there as it rots away
This is my wake
Tomorrow is my funeral
But not a soul is present
Because technically
I am alive

Have you watched me
Sit in the shadows
In the corners
On the curbs
In the secrets
Of a wretched mind

Have you understood
What I’ve gone through
In those halls
And classrooms
In the chairs
At the desks
Inside my own head

With all those eyes
Beaming at me
Throwing my mind
Onto overdrive
As I feel myself
Collapse inside

They said it was all my fault
They told me to snap under pressure
Forced me to believe,
I was the eternal loser
And they the eternal winners

They chased me on the streets
Screaming how I deserved to die
They chased me in the halls
Burning my every confidence

They encouraged my awful mind
To realize that everything
That I said to myself
In my own head
That it was true on the outside

And the rest of the population
Inside of that building
Just watched as it passed them by
Bystanders in an awful fight
Letting them pick me apart
Pull it away

All those bystanders
Just stood there
Watching and screaming
Go Go Go
To the winning team

And what else did they do
Those bystanders and those winners
They told me another thing too
I was responsible for my own demise
Because the treatment I was facing
By all the surroundings
Was my fault too

They told me to stand my ground
That I could just take it like a big girl
As I could hide inside
They told me not to fight them off
They said they’d go away some day

So why are they still around
Why do they still say the same things
Why do they stalk my every move
Waiting for the wrong one to appear
So they can use it against my fears

They told me I was responsible
For the bullying I had received
They told me I was the failure
Because I stood my ground
They told me the torture would end

And here it is.
As I stand over my corpse
At my unattended wake
For my own mind
But I am alive.
Kate-Lynn Walsh
Written by
Kate-Lynn Walsh
820
     --- and Kate-Lynn Walsh
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