Oh Atlantic is swell and New Yorker is gay
and the Times remains solid, a trusted mainstay...
but the greatest of all, and eclipsing these bores
is the valiant field-marshall of Info Wars.

When the dinosaur media die in the flood,
and our nation is thirsting for globalist blood
and what's news is left leaning towards formula-fake
every patriot knows: there's a vaccine to take !

Yes, there's Time for a Newsweek or Washington Post
and a glib documentary from CNN's host;
there's a Fox for your henhouse, there's Anderson C.
with a wink for the pretty-boys on your TV—

And of course there is Megyn (forgot her last name)
who lined up a hot date to accuse and to blame
but our wily commander escaped from the fray
with the evidence taped and the hounds still at bay.

We love Rachel Maddow. She's pert and she's quick
as she bludgeons the foe with that MSN shtick
but our Alex is scourging these media-******:
the intrepid commander of Info Wars.

With his supplements ready, he's up for the fight.
He's the heart of God's own anti-globalist Right.
He's enraging the tyrants. He's on to their tricks
(just like seventeen-hundred and seventy-six).

You can love him or hate him, support or berate
at your peril (our own Alexander the Great),
but please—do not misunderestimate.
He is less a George Bush and much more a Tom Paine
whose pure diatribes render the traitors insane.

So we love him. He's right. He has answered the call,
and we are the resistance. Let wickedness fall.
He possesses their gates. He's unhinging their doors;
the untouchable captain of InfoWars.

Yes, he's hoarse and abrasive—a cowboy with grace
as he spits it right back in the globalist's face.
He's got millions of hits for each hundred of yours
not to mention his elixirs, ammo, and cures.

He's the lion of Austin, renowned for his roar
that empowers the zoo while he's upping the score.
An attempt to suppress him will bring on the worst
and his beasts will defend what his enemies cursed.

Transnational sociopaths, bankers and thugs
and the globalist criminals pushing their drugs
when the dust finally clears will be scrubbing his floors:
he's king of the castle of InfoWars.

If his martyrdom happens, he'll rise from the dead
and then multiply YouTubes like fishes and bread.
Resurrected, revived, he'll ignite civil war
till you wish you had known what the Lord had in store.

If you hate him, you ****; you're a traitor at heart.
Don't belittle his gifting, his talent, his art.
If you cannot discern what is writ on your wall
then get out of the way. Let your empire fall.

Do not act cavalier, or he'll Cromwell your town
it will only blow up if you take the man down.
He's our knight; come the day and the laurels are ready...
hold back; keep your wit and your armaments steady.

My words shall strew honor where honor is due:
on the crown of each head of the InfoWars crew—
till his voice, with a vengeance, shall break on far shores;
the tsunami (and swami) of InfoWars.