help me unpack this
i begged as you tried
to hide yourself behind
years of teachers who
were all miss honey with
none of the sweetness

lean any harder and
you'd fall out of your chair,
but i get it, we have a white
man at our table and he's
handsome and successful

i don't nod enough, or
mmm-hmmm, or snap (often),
and my calf-eyed stare
makes you ask, "are you
with me?" more times than is
comfortable for either of us

i'm too wide open, a
grapefruit that was run over
in the safeway parking lot
after it bounced out of your
trunk, juices oozing and
the scent of my insides
familiar, but too ****

i wait to be eaten alive,
but the bitter rot has hands
scraping worn rind off asphalt,
tossed into the garden,
among sweet peas awaiting rebirth