HERE NOW I HOLD YOU

I hold you
astonished at your newness.  

One hand cups your ***
the other cradles your head

you **** into my palm.  

You smile your smile
still unused to it

and its magic  

wave a tiny lazy hand
as if you were royal  

& I an adoring subject.  

The music of you
plays  in my mind as if

I were  a mechanical piano
notes played by invisible hands.  

Your skull has yet
to get it together  

the fontanelle pulsing
as if each thought could be seen  

beating like a bird
against my hushed fingertips.  

Years later my hands
so much older now

I cradle your crying
stroke your punk goth hair

as you weep
over your first

'real' boyfriend  
(he obviously a ****)

your constant wailing:
'Why... ... didn't it work! '  

My fingertips caressing
where thought once pulsed  

your sweet secret self
hidden from me now

  in your growing up.