Why am I pulling and clawing
at my clothes and skin?
...Anxiety attack, but why?
I'm being impatient...I don't know
what I'm supposed to be doing
in the meantime.
I'm panting and hyperventilating and trying to push the tears out...nothing's coming...What is the point?
What good will come of it?
But what CAN I do now,
at 11:11 p.m.? What CAN I do now?
I don't even know what I'm thinking, what
causes the ragged breathing to
turn on and off...I don't know what to think,
don't know how to find some small
bit of comfort to hold me off
till sleep comes.
God, this is when my faith is weak.
God, you are in control. You have
a plan for me.
God, give me strength, and let me feel
your presence and that of
those who are trying to reach out to me, God.
Let me feel it.
Let me feel it, in the meantime.