My chest feels tight
My breathing quickens
I don't know how to feel
The thought sickens
Every being of my existence.
I don't do goodbyes
I cannot face them
I don't know how to deal
Even the thought of them
Makes me want to cry.
I feel weak and vulnerable
I can't handle it all
I can't face the eye contact
The final hugs
And all the tears that will fall.
I am not ready.
I need more time
But more time means nothing
When it is never enough
I need more time.
Time with you
But then that means less with her
I need you both.
But life is too fucked up to make it easy
Especially with me and her.
I love you.
More than you can imagine.
Our souls are intertwined
And distance can't change that.
Nothing will change us.
We are whole and together
We can do it all
Tearani, I'll always be in your heart
When I can't be squished in a tiny bed with you
Or singing down a road late at night
Or seeing cows in the sides of barns
Or laughing at not funny things.
We are always connected with our soul.
Forever.