May 2012
'Its Useless' I say to myself as i climb the steps, my own demise awaiting me there, I listen as i hear the drum beats
Then silence , the pounding coming back as I make my own rhythm moving with my feet , to make my way to the top, A fiery inferno awaiting behind the door, I grab the handle barging in, The face I see is not shocked, but is not happy either , what is this? An emotion unseen by human eyes? A useless attempt to hide the anger obviously burning inside just waiting to roar out at me, I stay still watching, waiting, Nothing.
Has he not heard my footsteps? My shaky erratic breathing? Finally a glance his eyes once wide now merely slits as he turns my way. Two steps back, trying not to fall , The depth beneath trying to engulf me , The warmth beating up warming my body chilling my heart,
Awaiting the screams as i feel the tears build, Do I leave? Do I stay? He tells me to fight back, To stand my guard
How can I be up against him? Alone, Helpless my body smaller, weaker, His daughter a mere defenseless child , Yet as I am Raised An Adult is formed, No talking back, Stand up for yourself , Stand for your punishment or receive worse then already coming,
My father alone, making me hide my face no daughter dearest or being hidden from the males shoved into the adult world at a mere 14
punished since 3, used since 5, made an adult at 10, and already planning to be kicked out at 16, and finally ended at 20 of age
A useless life a young girl who always hid her world from her parents trying not to be punished each day staying hidden away.
Then silence , the pounding coming back as I make my own rhythm moving with my feet , to make my way to the top, A fiery inferno awaiting behind the door, I grab the handle barging in, The face I see is not shocked, but is not happy either , what is this? An emotion unseen by human eyes? A useless attempt to hide the anger obviously burning inside just waiting to roar out at me, I stay still watching, waiting, Nothing.
Has he not heard my footsteps? My shaky erratic breathing? Finally a glance his eyes once wide now merely slits as he turns my way. Two steps back, trying not to fall , The depth beneath trying to engulf me , The warmth beating up warming my body chilling my heart,
Awaiting the screams as i feel the tears build, Do I leave? Do I stay? He tells me to fight back, To stand my guard
How can I be up against him? Alone, Helpless my body smaller, weaker, His daughter a mere defenseless child , Yet as I am Raised An Adult is formed, No talking back, Stand up for yourself , Stand for your punishment or receive worse then already coming,
My father alone, making me hide my face no daughter dearest or being hidden from the males shoved into the adult world at a mere 14
punished since 3, used since 5, made an adult at 10, and already planning to be kicked out at 16, and finally ended at 20 of age
A useless life a young girl who always hid her world from her parents trying not to be punished each day staying hidden away.
