It's an old guitar abandoned and forgotten, leaning it's warped neck against the cement wall of a cellar, caked with dust, strings useless with rust and dried oil
Ir's a video you've watched a hundred times but refuse to download because you're convinced it will give your computer a virus
It's a dust bin for calenders and a trash compactor for clocks
It's a scrapbook stuffed with reminders of things that very likely never happened and a wrinkled, road-weary rock star to convince you they did
It's the rancid odor of dead skunk that remends me of all the **** you burned
It's the goofy laugh some found contagious but I just thought was goofy
It's a running bet to see who could guess exactly how late you would be to an important occassion
It's a hell of a good time if you're looking for hells of good times you won't remember twenty-four hours later
If you don't mind losing the time
I doubt you even consider That your leaving was such a betrayal You couldn't consider much of anything with your gut So full of cheap bourbon whiskey Your words untethered from your thoughts Your feelings numbed, just the way you liked it If you cared the morning after That was the only time you cared at all I was robbed of the justice in calling you a liar It took too much of your energy to stand You surely had none to divine truth from fiction Stand and talk Move and breath Glad to fool You seemed cogent, enough to inspire trust
I shouldn't hate you I despise you and I'm wrong I loathe you and I know I'm judged I am jealous of you and I am ashamed of it I envy you and I can't help but wonder From where did you get all this power? What makes all these memories I have of you Mock, Scorn, Torture me with guilt for all I feel Even as you walked away you had no idea of what you promised The ties that bind, you said, the ties that bind They're hard to break and you were right I've spent all these years trying to untie that knot Every time I hit a snag I can't help but think of how tightly you wound them It makes me despise you even more
I despise you even more because I know If you were here right now I'd take you for granted Every bit as much as I did when we shared the same room Ages ago Only difference being how acutely aware I'd be with Well learned 20/20
God, I miss you I miss the way you made me feel normal The way you made me believe I belonged Three sheets to the wind, plastered Eight miles high and laughing that goofy laugh of yours Hanging around long enough to pick you up when you fell What I want to know, when all is said and done Where were you when I was the one sprawled out on the floor? Did you never think that I would need you to return the favor someday?
The view from down here is the one I am bound to remember Looking up to a myriad of faces Not a friend amongst them Certainly not a friend like I thought you were Teetering stinking drunk you could still lift me up and get me the hell out of this place
...and I can't even blame you ...you were a dry leaf blowing in the wind ...kindling for the demands I made of you ...easily crushed