Its dark in here.
I can't hear myself think yet
I can hear my heart shrink in my chest.
I can hear the screams his bones let out as the bullet tore through his vest.
I can hear his mother's eyes leaking.
His little brother sneaking into her bedroom at night
because he don't got big bro in there to protect him anymore.

Dads downstairs with his heart in a safe.
Hearing that phone ring at 3 o'clock in the morning was all he needed to throw away the key and start his mourning.
Holding back tears at work.
So when night comes,
he could turn back the years in his mind of the memories he had with his son.
While he turns back another bottle cap after reaching the bottom of the last one.

And all...
All I remember was pulling that trigger back
and hearing the bullet crack.
Then I watched his body go slack as he fell on his back
and I looked back. I looked back...

I looked back and expected my squad to have my back.
But all I found was my peer's pressure leaving a permanent indentation in the dirt.
And at that moment my soul began to hurt
Now I have cracked stones multiplying in the pit of my stomach with every passing second.
So I haven't been able to stomach a meal since that day.
And at night these stones do a great job of not letting my remorse escape so easily.
But the pain flows freely.
In the form of tears that soak up my pillow at night.

I wish I could take all the feathers out and create a set of wings that could take me away.
Or back in time.
To when I was just a boy that wasn't allowed to step foot of the front porch.
I would have went to church every Sunday like Pastor Ray always wanted me to. I would have gotten saved like TayTay and Deuce. I would of stopped lying and started telling the truth.

And I can tell the truth
I, can tell the truth.
And the truth is...I didn't mean to **** him.
Nobody but my momma believes me. I didn't want to put a scratch on his skin, I just wanted to fit in.
I wanted to be accepted into that juvenile circle.
If they had asked I would of held my breath until my face turned purple. I even smoked that purple poison that my momma told me to stay away from.

So I aimed at the tree to his right.
Hoping. Just hoping to give him a fright and he'll get scared and run off into the night but I guess the wind won that fight.

Because as the bullet blew from the barrel it flew just a bit over to the right.

So if you ask this young man.
Where I see myself in the future?

I'll tell you I'm blinded.

I've lost my sight.

I've lost my future.