resting my body
while resting my thoughts
thoughts of more
stay together unturned
you talk to me like
I'm a puzzle to assemble
you say I can be figured out
so I don't lose my mental
talking to understand
to get to know me
I tell you I'm broken
I'm ****** up, I'm lonely
it's always me
who falls back down
you might be the one
that one day
I just see around

breathing out
and I breathe back in
the memories of my life
present and past tense
I speak of memories
that have changed
even the recent weeks
at times I feel
like I'm losing myself
wrapped in bed
without someone to help
my window shows me the world
the world I'm too scared to roam
the only world I know
is when I'm alone at home

you ask where I like to be
you ask what makes me happy
a destination not felt threatened
one where my tears flow
like a river downstream
where I want to sleep
to wake up and lie
to convince myself
it was all a dream
my mind is not okay
the words try to escape
if you knew me truly
you wouldn't want to stay
no different from others
who make assumptions of me
so I hope you stay
I hope you say
to you I am something
when to me I feel like nothing

one day
I'll have the will power
to build up my tower
and not break and fall
to never again become
nothing at all
I'll have the will power
to love myself
more than just an hour
to dream of things
that would deem me as someone
without suicidal tendencies
my life would appeal to you
without additional weight
on top of your shoulders
my mind could be cleaned
with unconditional love
as you tell me my true potential
or what I could become
if I could just believe
in my own very dreams
such a straining activity
for someone broken like me
but one easy activity to you
my pain is caused by only me
but I'm locked away
by what others see
their concerns
become my own
they overthrow my thoughts
and you take control
you become possessive
our first found love
turns to fist fights
then to aggression
I don't speak a word
scared of addressing
your morals vanished
I lost my best friend
I then lost those I spent my time with
I became foolish
to think there is good
in everybody
to think people
were all genuine
I compacted this world
into a small package
that, to me, made sense
I made the world
an easy pill to swallow
but the pill made me ill
I saw the world
turn against me
I saw you
stare me down
maliciously
we took the same pill
both seeking a cure
to our empty hearts
and lives obscured
but you couldn't be saved
mind rotted
you became insane
soon our motives
both seemed to change
our love stopped rushing
throughout my veins
you had the key
to my mind
the mind that you threw
inside a cage
to keep my thoughts locked away

I was only me
alone at night
when I struggled
and strained my eyes
while tears poured out
I simply loved myself most
when you weren't around
but alone I felt as if
I was of no use
I'm not eccentric
just mundane
carried no attitude
something I had
struggled to get used to
so when people see me
as something so simple
I always tell them
why I feel so little
if you're reading this
now you know why
suppressing thoughts
only makes me want to die
half the time I **** my mind
waiting here for a friend
as I ponder
how it feels to have a friend
not to feel like you always have to be independent
and I ponder
how it feels to be lonely
the only time I know
is when I stare in the mirror
with my own reflection
staring back at me
my life trapped
inside solitude
my life is trapped
it's not enticing
so it means nothing to you
you're green
I'm​ blue
and blue
was never your favorite
you like crayons
but my life's a pen
it can't be erased
everything's permanent
now I ponder only of when
I'll meet someone else
who's life is a pen
who's life holds baggage
that they carry over
so we could look inside
and help out each​ other
this love to me is super simple
I want love that is unconditional
I don't want to be alone anymore
piece my heart back together
revive it into something less torn
be the person for me
who wants to know more
be the person for me
that isn't afraid to dance
in my emotional thunderstorm