back to square one.
back to nothing.
back to no friends
and no one who cares.
back to having no one
to please.
back to having no purpose.
back to being pointless.
back to self-hatred and
anger at the world.
back to quiet music.
back to silence.
back to wanting but
never getting.
back to living alone
with my thoughts for
eternity.
back to the worst sort
of life.
back to all this.

back to the way things
must be, I suppose.