i remember every bug i ****
i feel like a murderer
the god of their tiny lives
that decided at random
it was their time die

i remember every person i kiss
i remember what it tasted like
what sounds they made
if they opened their mouth
or ****** on my lips
i remember the look in their eyes
right before
i remember their heavy breathing
their smiles or their tears

i remember every day i wasted
when i ran away by myself
and kept thinkingthinking far too much
about love and death and science and God
until i was crazy
and sang songs to myself for hours
out of tune and in between
drags of my cigarette

i remember everything you say
i remember the songs you like
and the food you hate
i remember the weird dreams you’ve had
and the people who have hurt you
i remember the way you sleep
and how your eyes look when
you need to cry
but try to stay strong

i remember how i realized i love you
in a crowded room of strangers
how i stayed silent
and tried to convince my mind to do the same