at some point the problem stopped being that i had all these words in my head i wasn’t saying
and became me having nothing to say at all
calls or what’s wrong
a chorus of are you okay
fifteen thousand talk to meh echoing around my cavernous skull
i want to i want to i want
(believe me)
to
but words don’t choose me as their home anymore
i can’t hardly blame them
i’m sure they tell stories, the words
sure i’m a big bad that little verb and noun children have learned to fear
hearing takes of words that entered me
and were never set free
so now mr. and mr. adverb, mrs. and mrs. conjunction, mx. and mx. pronoun
they all caution oh no stay away from her
she’ll eat you alive she will
her lips will never let you out not even
in her sleep
stay away, stay away
so now i have no words
now i am empty
i inflict irreversible pain by deflecting questions i have no answer to
and drown in the probability of senselessness
and take showers in the dark
where words won’t reflect off me
where the water will hit and slide down my skin
and i’m not expected to take it in
or give anything back