Stomach churning as I'm filled with uncertainty,
the black ball in my chest pumps out nothing but anxiety.
I hate that you are so far from me.
But what can I do or say to make everything ok?
Nothing but walk down the street like everything’s fine,
when deep down I’m raging inside.
The time spent goes by and I keep telling myself don’t cry.
When the memories are buried in the sand,
and you are no longer holding my hand,
I will shut my eyes real tight
and let my mind take flight.
Releasing all the taped up wounds,
saying that you came and went too soon.
Give me the stern nod and angry shove one last time,
give me one more kiss and a final "your mine".
We’re animals locked away
slowly and steadily losing our faith,
with only a few trips to the liquor store on eighth.
With loud tambourines and pretty pink scarves,
I’ll drink and fuck to hide these scars.
No more is the hobo fabulous look golden
because our potential and chance has been stolen .
All because a girl caught the green eyed monster inside of her
so those around us concur,
that we're too fucked up to be eggs and cats,
When as a matter of fact…we know better than that.
With fingers in places where they shouldn’t be,
underneath blankets so nobody can see,
what we do during mornings at the park
and we're kissing underneath the arch
and I smile as we dance in the dark.
Loud sounds erupting from the TV and
comparing special videos to you and me.
Yummy cold cut sandwiches and sober sex...
we didn't know what was to come next.
We never drove to Harlem for a hug
but we tried our best to show each other love.
Running away from "hospital bound trains"
we can see and hear from miles away.
The sirens come closer...
You say "u got 5 minutes or its over".
Quickly get dressed and get out.
Leaving today is not what this was about.
Birthday vodka sips ...I always loved your beer flavored lips.
You weren’t there for guacamole dip,
but I’m glad because u would have gotten sick.
Nametags and tears,
unable to sleep because of murderous fears.
Late night walks to Houston Street with 50 million bags,
You looking like a turtle sitting by that garbage can,
and a free bottle of whiskey because of the Spanish speaker in me.
Pimps and lesbians watching my hands
as they make there was into your pants.
Yelling grandmothers and pregnant bitches,
I think I would have needed stitches that day
but you put yourself in the way.
Free mozzarella sticks and putting up with cops and their bullshit.
You may have made me chip my tooth motherfucker,
but you were still one of my best lovers.
Kids running into glass windows thinking they are tunnels
to arguing about how much beer we can funnel.
Both wanted trailers growing up but now we're too busy throwing up….
"4 loko crazy" mornings and me drinking too much despite your warnings.
Emergency room visits of heartbreak and torture…
Let’s get the fuck out of here..."we don’t need to be sober"…
Angry sisters at the park and you telling me to go home...
but I just couldn’t leave u all alone.
The apparent "Sid and Nancy" of 2010 is falling apart
we can no longer pretend.
If you want it back fight fierce and loud,
I’ve never given up I’m just waiting around.
The nights of shits and piss will remain forever intact…
including all the nights you fought and had my back.
We've made plans to go here and there but never get to,
it’s not really fair..
but it’ll be alright
and maybe one day we’ll ride a magic carpet,
into the infamous supermarket,
and u won’t try stealing 8 four lokos…
that would turn us into psychos.
Watching the sunrise sipping a 40,
in preparation of being lonely while I go eat brunch with my mom
only to come back and everything’s wrong.
Peace necklaces and stolen first time flowers.
Laughing at jokes in my own shower.
Making my closet your room but we spoke too soon.
Light up starfish and darkened anguish.
I can’t believe we did all this shit.
There's a pile of your clothes on my floor,
remember the funny hat and purple bathrobe outside my door?
And the running
and the laughing
and the playing
and the fighting
and the screaming
and the crying
and the love
and the hugs
and the kisses
and refrigerator/bathtub
and the time you were at McDonalds when u got lonely and came to find me with all the bags.
I stopped rhyming but I don’t give a damn.
Don’t try to understand me...just love me...is what u wrote.
And I did that’s why you’re getting this note.
In time we've gone thru hell and back.
We've made memories that will last.
Just please don’t leave so fast...
I don’t want a guy like you in my past...