There are things in this world
We simply can’t have.
The times we thought were forever,
Normally do not last.
Friendships become broken and sealed,
Close your eyes and pretend,
“It’s not real”.
The anxious, lonely feeling made
Bearable by barely toxic liquids,
Controls the body and mind.
Wishing you didn’t have to say goodbye
And it could be like old times.
Thinking about it wants to make me cry,
But my tears will soon dry,
Because our friendship was so different long ago,
And I never expected this, Chlo.
But I won’t judge or tell you to say no,
Because we’ve in a sense gone our separate ways.
And it hurts me to know that what I say,
Won’t mean much anyway.
But you’ll always be my Mia buddy,
And partner in crime of New Orleans.
I’ll always remember the boys, the drugs, and the sex,
The sad phone calls about death,
My mother’s violent threats,
It’s all stuck in my head.
When I see you as the girl I used to know,
I close my eyes tightly,
Shake my head no,
Shove the past memories far away in the back of my head,
And pretend,
I’m communicating with the dead.
You and I shared times,
I’ll always love and cherish.
And I know you’re trying to bring her back.
I see it when you talk sometimes.
We’re very different,
You and I.
But in a sense, so alike.
We fight off demons,
In different ways.
You with your white powder of dreams,
Me with empty canteens.
You are and always will be my childhood best friend.
And I left because looking at it happening,
WAS UNBEARABLE.
Much worse than that anxious, lonely feeling.
It’s okay though,
I’ll love you forever,
All I have to do is,
Close my eyes and pretend,
“It’s not real”.