As I was driving home, I watched the lightning.
I couldn't decide if it was heat lightning or actual storm lightning.
My answer came when it started to rain lightly.
And while I watched the lightning, my mind wandered to some dark places.
As I drove I daydreamed of a young girl standing in this weather.
Her clothes were soaked and stuck to her skin as she too watched the lightning.
Her eyes were transfixed on the crazy lines that broke the sky into pieces and the light that shaded each part.
But her mind, it wasn't paying any attention to the beautiful show before her.
Her mind was only thinking of the blade hiding in her pocket.
She reached her hand in the pocket and pulled out the tiny tool.
As soon as it was in her hand she sat on the wet earth beneath her and kept her eyes focused on the illuminated sky.
She didn't need to look down as she took the blade and made a deep cut from elbow to wrist on both arms.
And as soon as the damage was done, she laid back and let rain fill her veins while her blood watered the grass.
It was at this time that I had finally pulled into my driveway.
It was also at this time that I realized, the girl I was daydreaming about was me.
The girl I daydreamed was doing something I had longed to do but couldn't make myself do.
As I got out of my car, I tried erased those thoughts from my head.
Another long week was almost over, and I wasn't yet dead.