How I feel, What You Need to Know
by @EbonyRose
You want me to be me,
but the me you envision.
After all you're always right.
...
I maintain my own balance with the world,
but again my imperfections are brought to light.
Unsurprisingly I let you down,
Not because I refuse, but because I cannot fight.
I am not allowed to be me.
...
You expect me to be more. Everything at once.
To take care of my self, others left unattended.
To maintain the enviroment, other aspects let down.
I'm slow, I don't understand, I run out of time. Doesn't matter.
...
You miss the attention, the dedication, that I used to give.
You want the little things, the gifts, the cuddles, the affection.
I with to provide, but often cannot, the hell if I know why.
...
I've come to live in fear.
Reluctant to return home from work
Not wanting us left alone.
...
The easy seperation isn't an option, too many depend on us.
I don't want that. I never would have started if I wanted an end.
But I don't know how to heal. Or if we can.
...
Always on the negative, never the positive.
Providing motivation out of fear not desire.
Meanwhile I'm dying inside.
...
I've had to learn to resist depression
and to repress who I am.
I've given up dreams of a future
and am left to see what happens.
...
So much sacrifice that cannot be undone,
starting to wonder what I gave it up for.