in my pressence
you'll see me drinking tennents
in the pub
not in a nightclub
switching to whiskey  
its quite risky
because i get frisky
so i'll drink gin
it is a sin
i just cant win
had some smirnoff
now im about to fall off
my bar stool
as i go to play pool
looking like a fool
i stumple out the bar
and aproch my car
the big five o in the far
see me and take action
i try to make a distraction
so i can start my extraction
this sparks an unwanted attraction
from the faction and an interaction
i start to fight
and notice his hight
i was like oh *****
Now getting lifted
which i kinda requested
as i shouted i was being molested
canna believe that the peev
on this fine eve had made me nieve
as i greave in the car with police
as i waint for release
started with a pint of tennents
and ended with a custodial sentence