This struggle has kept me real
straining to keep a grip
on everything I need to feel
wading through my kaleidoscope emotions
keeping them honest
with my pen and paper devotion
to myself

I have been on thin ice and slipped through
this two year trip away from myself
praying for an angel in the snow
if you've got your head above water
then you don't know what I know

but it isn't dedication if you don't bleed
hurt for what you want
until it isn't a want
it's what you need
dreams fall if weak shoulders hold them up
and dreams die the coldest death
sleep don't come in the door at night
if you lay down with regrets

so I follow the lead of everyone
who seems to be happier than me
but maybe I'm not cut out
to cut the bad parts out of me
I like life a little *****
it keeps me sane
in my times of strife and worry

when I'm running I can't lose and I can't trip
so I just pick up hold up and lift
maintaining whether I'm sure I want to
seems to be my gift

The struggle teaches you who you'll be
no matter what you gain or lose
it's worth every bruise and scar to see
who you are
and how to place blame on who they chose to be

all they ever taught were ways,
to swallow store bought thoughts they made
wrapped in little lessons learned
guiding light matches with the heads already burned

the world eats alive the hungry
feeds the fat and pats their tummy
puts a leash on every blue collar
sweating tears to pay for every dollar

struggle is spelled with college courses
black eye picking side divorces
memories with bitter tastes
mirrors with no memory of your face

and I never hurt so bad as having
no way to trust the one thing
that truly should have been the one thing
solid for a heart to stand on

best friends with better things to do
than take the time to make a call to you
was never what I heard them say
in the backyard when life was the games we played

I've never had a smile on this face
that I didn't pay for
with a dent in this heart
looking over it's shoulder