No tender words
In gilded script
Will appear on Mother’s Day

No bright bouquets
Family photos or
Teddy bears
Will clutter where you lay

In your life you had no time
For sentiments such as these
You’d rather we spend the money
On cornbread and chili beans.

Buy some toilet brushes and bathroom grout,
I can hear you say,
Or better yet,
Buy the kids some clothes
And put them on lay-a-way.

Don’t shop at those expensive stores
When Walmart works just fine
Why pay $1.62
When you can get it for $.99?

You’d tell us not to bother
Getting cards or presents
But on Mother’s Day you’d be irate
Because we actually listened.

So on Mother’s Day in ‘17
Your gift will be the same
A reused box from Amazon
Where we just X’d out the name
Inside the box are useful things
That do not cost a lot

From discount stores and sales racks
To keep the prices down
We’ll donate them to a shelter
That helps the homeless right downtown
Perhaps that will make you happy,
But my heart is filled with doubt
I’m sure there’s something in that box
For you to yell at me about.