I saw a pillar of fire and I saw a cloud an Israelite marching to promised ground
And this fire in the night blazed a trail all the way to Jerusalem
a light in the dark consuming and drawing all of our attention as the savior entered in
but he wasn't savior then he was just the Jesus man
height of his fame
top of his game
crowds know his name
and "hosanna" they proclaim
nation wide status and popularity
but all I can offer is palm branches at his feet so his ride doesn't get *****

I saw a pillar of fire and I saw a cloud an Israelite confused in the desert walking around
and this cloud by day darkened my path with its shade and I followed it down to via DelaRosa the painful way where the Savior carried my cross to Golgotha to take away my sins
but he wasn't savior then he was still just the Jesus man
height of his fame
scorned and betrayed
by the ones he came to save
even God looked away
but the ones who really loved Him had tears in his eyes while everyone else shouted crucify

And I am in both crowds
so how did I get from point A to point B somehow I find myself in between these two roads marked with glory and shame

I am the disciple saying Jesus you don't really have to die
Filling up dry cupped hands looking for the relief of rain. Refreshing words to a parched soul but it is the temptation to get drunk off of sweet nothings
It is the tension between suffering and superiority
He cried
My flesh writhes with greed longing for the captives to build a kingdom based on the pleasure of praise
But I didn't come for me I came to set people free, give my daddy back the keys m, grabbing children off their knees, letting authority be restored, relationship born, and heaven an open door
Will I be led by love or emotion?

Do I really have to go through with this or not? Haven't I already given up enough?
Gethsemane and the overwhelming grief
Meanwhile I am Judas saying "this isn't what I thought it would be"
What happened to the man we called revolutionary?
So you can fill up my hands with those sweet nothings
and I will drink deep of the bitter heavy and cheap silver you placed there

I am Peter ready to defend but also to flee because I am too ashamed to be seen with this politically defined criminal even though he washed my bare feet
so when you asked I will deny I will deny I will deny
because I favor what people think of me rather than giving away everything

And the people change their mind simply because the position of magician on the payroll was denied Their wish list weren't getting checked off they were getting left behind
And all three are a lot like me
and once again I find myself in between these two roads marked with glory and shame
fame and mock
victory and flogging  
it's in Ascension full of dissension as I wait for someone else's reign
I was in both crowds
I was the worshiper and the condemnor the admirer and the accuser
And I Wrestle and I wrestle with the gravestones in me until I am sick
And Jesus Christ I know you wrestled too
So My God my god what did you choose
with the pushing and pulling of rising choice tension
I now stand in the crowd that cries out for resurrection