Whenever I go
to take a ****,
I pull the plastic
toilet seat
up.

It is quite old and quite
bendy, so
sometimes it works,
gloriously standing up
there,
first try:
a true master of the
art.
Sometimes it falls back
down,
no matter how much I fiddle
with it,
and boy,
do I
fiddle.

The same when I look
in her eyes.