I've asked myself so many times
in the midst of questioning, doubting,
fumbling, feeling, crying or smiling,

What is love?

It's timidly daring to believe in feelings unsaid
When you first notice the glimmer of a stutter
in your voice or start hedging your words
when she's brought up
When you start dreaming of what you'd say
or everything you'd do to get her to notice you

It's a never-ending pain that steals away your sleep
and siphons your self-esteem when its taken away
by fate, calamity or to another man's bed
The nights you race to stay awake never quite seem to abet
the weight pressing in on your chest
You'll grow to regret time you'll call wasted
And hate the absence of trivial insignificance
Life will seem pointless, unbearable and cruel
Without another to provide your days fuel

It's a burning desire that starts with a whisper
a touch, maybe a kiss
Races through till your mind is parched
Nothing remaining but thoughts of
curves,
moans,
release

It's a silent compromise
that you'll never dare tell
with no one privy except yourself
Looking from afar at the object of your desire
you'll build them up into perfection
while the world seems to put up a million obstructions
telling you she's out of reach, too good
and obviously not interested
It might be fear, obligation, friendship
Any number of things will stand in the way
and let you punish yourself
through and through
for as long as you want to

It's an unstoppable joy
No one can deny
When the arrow flies true
Not walls of concrete
Nor carpets of glue
Will stop you from smiling
at thoughts of the things you'll do
The sky could be purple,
coriander, or just plain blue
Neither of you will care one bit
Or even have a clue
All that matters is right there
in front of you
When you finally say
I do

It's the defining facet of
just what it means to be human
Cynics often scoff and say
"Grow up and stop thinking with your ****"
But love is so much more than primal urges
So much more than a meager thrusting and grasping
It encompasses the anticipation of wondering
The exuberance of knowing
It drives men to create, instigate and fabricate
the heights and depths of humanity
Love is all around
In every form from unhealthy to divine
From bold to half-hearted
From heartbreak to just started
Love is all around
Or its absence is sharply found

I know all this now and I've barely scratched the surface
Compared to all others, in this field I'm just a novice
With everything I've said
And everything I've heard
This I still can't answer,

Is love for me?